What is going on? My life and the lives of others are being trampled on the threshing floor and we are writhing, struggling, crying...and growing?
The past two weeks have been utter chaos. A battle between wills, a struggle to stay positive, and a plethora of small problems that have added fuel to the fire.
It began when my friend and I had a misunderstanding which escalated into an all out argument. I almost lost her, thank goodness for grace. I also had a car accident, almost choked, and had to care for my three kiddos alone because the Giant was in Florida at a business conference. This meant his support was not only miles away, but it was not nearly as comforting as I needed it to be.
Top all this off with a little heat exhaustion which I am still recovering from, and you would have reason enough to either take a vacation or visit a monastery for some recovery time.
But wait, there's more. I am a member of an eloop of women. It is a support group for home school moms. This group is suffering similar pains that I have had this week. A comment was made and interpreted and responded to. Someone's feelings got hurt. Cue the sound guy to play that rewind of tape sound - my life exactly 1 week ago.
The ruler of this world is having a field day among these beautiful and loving women. He is trampling and kicking and twisting and...he's laughing too. I want to scream and say something but I know I will not be heard among the din.
I think of Jesus hanging on the cross. Imagine the wails, the screams and shouts while he was being nailed to it. For awhile after it was lifted up the jeers and the taunts to save Himself fling through the air. Then I imagine it gets pretty quiet. Everyone realizes He will not save Himself, but that this is truly a tragic end to a miraculous beginning (they do not know the end of the story and cannot even imagine it). I think of Peter, having just denied Him, watching, unable to apologize and unable to rationalize the horror of the situation. It's so quiet.
It is in this quiet that our own sins seem so ridiculous. Why, Lord? Why was I so needy, so demanding of justice? How could I not see the hurt I was causing? How can I heal it now, after so much has been said and so many have dug into the trenches?
Remember the story of World War II soldiers at Christmas time? How they heard each other singing carols across the trenches and they united in one night of peace to celebrate the greatest miracle ever? What amazes me is that they could pick up the rifles once more in the morning, and so quickly forget that moment of unity.
But that is the human condition. That is what the ruler of this world rejoices over daily. He is a sly devil.
If I had the gift I would place my hands on the heads of these women and pray for their healing. That is not my gift. I will pray for them and hope that the splintering is not beyond healing. What can I do? I can embrace my friend that I argued with last week and say I'm sorry and set a better example for my children.
The angels are weeping and we have the power to stop it. It is only our pride standing in the way.
My children and I watched a movie about St. Therese of Lisieux this week. Her "little way" is so hard for so many. But it is the way to Jesus, so honest and childlike. St. Therese, pray for us and lead the way for us to follow in your footsteps.
God bless you all.
The past two weeks have been utter chaos. A battle between wills, a struggle to stay positive, and a plethora of small problems that have added fuel to the fire.
It began when my friend and I had a misunderstanding which escalated into an all out argument. I almost lost her, thank goodness for grace. I also had a car accident, almost choked, and had to care for my three kiddos alone because the Giant was in Florida at a business conference. This meant his support was not only miles away, but it was not nearly as comforting as I needed it to be.
Top all this off with a little heat exhaustion which I am still recovering from, and you would have reason enough to either take a vacation or visit a monastery for some recovery time.
But wait, there's more. I am a member of an eloop of women. It is a support group for home school moms. This group is suffering similar pains that I have had this week. A comment was made and interpreted and responded to. Someone's feelings got hurt. Cue the sound guy to play that rewind of tape sound - my life exactly 1 week ago.
The ruler of this world is having a field day among these beautiful and loving women. He is trampling and kicking and twisting and...he's laughing too. I want to scream and say something but I know I will not be heard among the din.
I think of Jesus hanging on the cross. Imagine the wails, the screams and shouts while he was being nailed to it. For awhile after it was lifted up the jeers and the taunts to save Himself fling through the air. Then I imagine it gets pretty quiet. Everyone realizes He will not save Himself, but that this is truly a tragic end to a miraculous beginning (they do not know the end of the story and cannot even imagine it). I think of Peter, having just denied Him, watching, unable to apologize and unable to rationalize the horror of the situation. It's so quiet.
It is in this quiet that our own sins seem so ridiculous. Why, Lord? Why was I so needy, so demanding of justice? How could I not see the hurt I was causing? How can I heal it now, after so much has been said and so many have dug into the trenches?
Remember the story of World War II soldiers at Christmas time? How they heard each other singing carols across the trenches and they united in one night of peace to celebrate the greatest miracle ever? What amazes me is that they could pick up the rifles once more in the morning, and so quickly forget that moment of unity.
But that is the human condition. That is what the ruler of this world rejoices over daily. He is a sly devil.
If I had the gift I would place my hands on the heads of these women and pray for their healing. That is not my gift. I will pray for them and hope that the splintering is not beyond healing. What can I do? I can embrace my friend that I argued with last week and say I'm sorry and set a better example for my children.
The angels are weeping and we have the power to stop it. It is only our pride standing in the way.
My children and I watched a movie about St. Therese of Lisieux this week. Her "little way" is so hard for so many. But it is the way to Jesus, so honest and childlike. St. Therese, pray for us and lead the way for us to follow in your footsteps.
God bless you all.
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