It's been a while. More than a while. The thought that I am not a blogger flashes through my mind when I remind myself that I am a writer. So while I've been busy being a mom and co-op leader, speech coach, debate coach, as well as chief cook and bottle washer...I lighten up and give myself a break.
So here I am with thoughts to share. I hope they inspire you and bring you some thought-provoking moments of reflection.
One of my biggest flaws is that I tend to expect people to do and say things that fall in line with what I believe is the way people should act. There are several huge problems with this; the first, and most obvious being that I do not do and say the right things myself most of the time. The second is that I have no right to judge others and the third is, "Who says I actually know how people should act!" So why am I writing this?
The answer is this: I have recently made some changes in my personal life regarding how I live my faith and it has been a long time since I have felt so free and so full of wind beneath my wings. I feel like I am suddenly flying solo among throngs of people who can't tie their shoe without posting it on Facebook or Instagram. Don't get me wrong, I still use social media often (it has its uses), but I am trying to see more clearly and mainly to guard my heart and give my time to Jesus first.
I realized that I need to recognize when I am following "leaders" or even friends or colleagues I admire who aren't taking me where I need to go. While no human can be perfect, those who seek God's will in their life and humbly pray and ask for His guidance, listening daily to His still small voice are those who make good leaders. These are the people we want to seek out. Jesus set the perfect example of servant leadership. There are people out there reading His Word and making every effort to use it to light their path. Many times, people find themselves blindly following people who are themselves too caught up in worldly adventures, or those whose habit has become weeks or months with no scripture study or prayer.
That's what happened to me. I got busy. I was tired. I assumed I could get by on my once a week pulpit scripture reading. So my soul got thirsty, then parched, and finally became the desert that was desperately in need of rain.
God is so good. He will not leave us nor forsake us, and He found me simply by giving me sight. Or insight. Suddenly I began to see the things I was doing with new eyes. A sense of wastefulness came over me. I picked up the new Bible I got for Christmas which has lines for journaling on each side of every page. I began to read from it and write in it. It was like a fresh spring rain and my soul soaked up every drop.
Soon all the doubts that plagued me about thinking this instead of that ("this" being my thoughts and "that" being those I "followed") began to sort themselves into "this is best for me and my family" and "that may be best for them but I don't need that right now." It came with a huge sense of relief; I don't have to do that, I can say no. I can put that phone down; I don't have to answer every phone call or text right away. My time is mine and I can put myself and my family first.
My goal these days is simple: keep God first. First means before ANYTHING else. It's not easy. I don't always succeed. All I can say is, when I do, the blessings are off the charts. Peace, confidence in myself and my decisions, better relationships with EVERYONE, and joy - those are the fallout.
So if you're feeling overwhelmed or a little lost, let me encourage you to find some time alone with God. Read and pray. He's waiting on you. He is such a loving Father. Nothing compares to Him. And you may find the results exactly what you've been hoping for.
