I am aging pretty well. I guess. The gray is mixed and adds a sort of silvery shimmer to my brown curls. The curls are not natural these days. As a young woman I had soft wavy curls - before straight was fashionable so I didn't mind. I got a perm almost six months ago and it has lasted a long time; but it dried my hair out something awful and I had to cut two inches off.
I stopped wearing make-up when I went to grad school in Canada. Canadian winters don't do mascara very well and the whole thing just got too time consuming. I never really got back into the habit.
So here's me; graying and no make-up.
Then there's the weight issue. I went on a diet last fall and lost 20 pounds. Awesome, right? Yes. Awesome, but depression feeds anxiety and for me that meant...eat. So here I am back at the place where I need to lose weight and get in shape.
I am doing well mentally and winning the battle against fear and depression. God is good. He loves me just as I am. I guess the big question is do I? Do I love me this way? Can I look at myself in the mirror and smile and say, "You rock this world!"
Nope. I can't.
My kids do. They see me with God-like eyes and I am so thankful for that. They look up at me and their eyes shine and they smile and giggle, "Tickle me, Mommy!"
I'm an older mom. Most parents of 5-10 year olds are in their early 30's. I'm 47. Does that change things - your perspective, your response to the world? Yeah. It does.
So here I go on a grand experiment. My former self (before marriage and kids - the career minded me) was high maintenance. Elegant. Beautiful? Well, at least well put together. I felt good and I felt I looked good.
Just because I homeschool and want to be earth mother someday - grow my own food and raise free range chickens - doesn't mean I have to look the part. Not that I want to be Audrey Hepburn either. Let's find a balance between the ridiculous and the sublime. Here we go.
Former me was brunette, polished nails and a svelte 115 pounds. Perfect make-up all the time and dressed for success.
I think I will color the hair again. It stays healthier from all the conditioning that goes with that and hopefully the dryness will be eliminated. I love that it has a function as well as the "beauty" aspect. I'm more practical these days.
No to the nails - gets in the way of playing guitar and other crafty skills. As for make-up - I think I'll try for "more often" rather than everyday. Although I do want to get some gentle treatments to reduce the scars from old blemishes on my face. They, more than anything, make me feel old. No to any form of botox or surgeries - I believe God wants us to show our children that aging is just as much a part of life as anything else. This is about getting comfortable in my skin again and liking what I see.
Some of you may want to quote scriptures that tell me to relax and be myself and let God love me and be thankful for that and on and on. That's what I am trying to do here. I think I have to meet Him halfway and show Him that I can care properly for this vessel He loaned me. I've been caring for the kids and the house and the husband and I've lost myself. I've lost the motivation to be and feel beautiful.
So, here I go. Hair, face, diet and work-out routine coming up in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...
Will post results.
I stopped wearing make-up when I went to grad school in Canada. Canadian winters don't do mascara very well and the whole thing just got too time consuming. I never really got back into the habit.
So here's me; graying and no make-up.
Then there's the weight issue. I went on a diet last fall and lost 20 pounds. Awesome, right? Yes. Awesome, but depression feeds anxiety and for me that meant...eat. So here I am back at the place where I need to lose weight and get in shape.
I am doing well mentally and winning the battle against fear and depression. God is good. He loves me just as I am. I guess the big question is do I? Do I love me this way? Can I look at myself in the mirror and smile and say, "You rock this world!"
Nope. I can't.
My kids do. They see me with God-like eyes and I am so thankful for that. They look up at me and their eyes shine and they smile and giggle, "Tickle me, Mommy!"
I'm an older mom. Most parents of 5-10 year olds are in their early 30's. I'm 47. Does that change things - your perspective, your response to the world? Yeah. It does.
So here I go on a grand experiment. My former self (before marriage and kids - the career minded me) was high maintenance. Elegant. Beautiful? Well, at least well put together. I felt good and I felt I looked good.
Just because I homeschool and want to be earth mother someday - grow my own food and raise free range chickens - doesn't mean I have to look the part. Not that I want to be Audrey Hepburn either. Let's find a balance between the ridiculous and the sublime. Here we go.
Former me was brunette, polished nails and a svelte 115 pounds. Perfect make-up all the time and dressed for success.
I think I will color the hair again. It stays healthier from all the conditioning that goes with that and hopefully the dryness will be eliminated. I love that it has a function as well as the "beauty" aspect. I'm more practical these days.
No to the nails - gets in the way of playing guitar and other crafty skills. As for make-up - I think I'll try for "more often" rather than everyday. Although I do want to get some gentle treatments to reduce the scars from old blemishes on my face. They, more than anything, make me feel old. No to any form of botox or surgeries - I believe God wants us to show our children that aging is just as much a part of life as anything else. This is about getting comfortable in my skin again and liking what I see.
Some of you may want to quote scriptures that tell me to relax and be myself and let God love me and be thankful for that and on and on. That's what I am trying to do here. I think I have to meet Him halfway and show Him that I can care properly for this vessel He loaned me. I've been caring for the kids and the house and the husband and I've lost myself. I've lost the motivation to be and feel beautiful.
So, here I go. Hair, face, diet and work-out routine coming up in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...
Will post results.
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